My own judge, my enemy, my love. Sometimes playful, hiding from myself. I do not make myself numb like I used to. An adult now, with care, I am pain, I heal. My mind is in awe, I am obscurity, ecstasy, the smell of my private self, my shadow, the attachments of hurt, the neglect, the peace. A flower that blossoms in silence. 2026

En el amor, el tiempo compartido, en secretos, tomando mi espacio, cada que puedo. ¿Cómo sentirme con sentimientos no solo míos? ¿De qué manera existo en la mitad de la cama? ¿Cómo alimentar una rutina basada en una identidad compartida? 3 cosas que agradecer: Me expando, soy estable, descanso. 2026

A nap under a tree, a bug bite, beauty that blinds, a wet back, unforeseen. So full of expectations, so expensive, in plain sight, a fantasy is destroyed, is now pedestrian. Summer, falling out of love so easily. 2026

Mi ansiedad es una compulsión por hacer, por mantenerme activo, por crear una persona. Mi ansiedad viene de la falsa creencia de no ser suficiente. Mi ansiedad es un espacio que he habitado tanto que se me ha hecho hábito. Merezco abundancia, merezco expresarme. 2026

Thinking about it, constantly, suppressing. Shape, in the mirror, pretending, I did not read it. Offline, the butt is firm, an ice cream, my feelings, I do not share. The new ways in which a friend navigates sobriety. The body pushing away what’s latent inside. 2026

Gratitude over my health, when I feel like my energy is not enough. 2026

Gratitude over the vessel, when I feel like I have control over nothing. 2026

The challenges of loneliness and unity have little in common. Lately, though, they seem to meet in the acceptance of change, in developing a new attitude towards what was once home. 2026

Not having a proof. Behaviour. Reading, anticipating, the skin is there. My heart is floating to get lost in the sea, to jump from the height. My rhythm, repeating, the past I am today, all of it, I breathe it. My ribs contract, the air feels thick, it's my essence suffocating me. Silence on the outside, trying to stay sane over infinity, playing hard with me. Aspiring poet, fear of losing it, losing it in every corner. The details of my skin, marking mistakes, all red when I

37 years after, still unable to find out how to inhabit my body. 2026

The death of the mother of a close friend, following a recipe, my friends hooked on drugs, coming down with the flu, my horniness, trying to be and make a home, therapy, not forgetting about fun, the importance of doing something with my life, stronger legs, bending my knees while running, colder water in the shower, replacing coffee with tea, more supplements, talking to my mother, pretending that I am listening, another section of grey hair, you say you want to kiss me, lea

Growing up learning to hide 
in order to be loved. Only the good sides
 on display. Love learned 
as actions and rewards. Emotional makeup. 2026

Adormilado, en cama, sal en la garganta, foráneo, una vez más solo. Rutina, pies adoloridos, té verde y un poco de miel. Mi cuerpo me pide movimiento, el fresco viene de la ventana. Recuerdo el sol de ayer, mi olor, el pelo hacia arriba. La ausencia, mi cama es mía. El corazón no despierta, se siente completo, pesado. La casa está limpia. 2026

Overcoming the fear of inhabiting my body, thanks to a female voice, a poet. Once more, stronger, overcoming, bright, sadness as a build-up. Your voice brings me glory, your words, wisdom. I move my body away from the shore, the landscape once yours, that I discover and fall in love with as I imagine you around here, around me. Giving me strength. The sun is now behind me, I don’t know how to thank you for existing, filling this void once bigger than my flesh. 2026

My love for atmospheres, essence, shining, living in love, in silence, moving image, the reflection of light expanding my eye. A moment, photogenic: smell of a man, lovingly, something to prove. Freedom, movement, silence, presence, that’s bright with light, expanding. Bigger than I am able. 2026

Afraid of your touch
 craving to be inside you. The agreements and the performance: an accent with no place to be. I don’t fit into my body, with anger. 
My home, the acceptance of my nature. Still freaking out every now and then, but more able. Everything I did not have access to before
 is now being digested, expanding,
 making me able, giving me a place in it. Loops of insecurity over financial matters,
 but in acceptance of my path.
Inspired. Ready for creation. 2026

Hours of play, sweat, the first day of spring. Bruised skin. Insulin. A transcendental disguise dissolved into silence. The best in you.

A gap between my inner and outer self. Communication: the bridge. To be understood. To feel understood. 2026

I woke up feeling like a spectator of my own life. While drinking my morning coffee, I realised that the only time I truly participate is in my dreams. 2026

Been navigatig insecurity, the years made me an expert. There is some wisdom in there. 2026

I knew the food from before, and I felt full before I started eating it, not full but saturated. So I realized that I don't know what I want, that I feel disenchanted with this self-created reality loop, with the friend who sits in front of me and pretends to know what he's talking about. My desk offers comfort because it contains all the tools available to me to be both entertained and useful. I have created a collection of explicit materials, and I am still dwelling on whet

I ask that, in this moment, uncertainty turns into clarity, and that this dissatisfaction transforms into inspiration. 2026

See it. Live it. Integrate it. Let it be. Therapy notes becoming diary entries, 2026

Happiness is not a moment; it is knowing I am on the right path. Therapy notes becoming diary entries, 2026

Taking in beliefs, rules, or expectations from others as if they were my own, without asking whether they truly belong to me. Therapy notes becoming diary entries, 2026

A mirror when old meanings collapse and new ones have not yet appeared. Rooted in The Dark Night of the Soul, a concept from the Spanish mystic Saint John of the Cross. Therapy notes becoming diary entries, 2026

Emotions, experiences, and relationships do not exist in isolation. Therapy notes becoming diary entries, 2026

Stillness and silence as the ground for something to emerge. Therapy notes becoming diary entries, 2026

Right now, strength means paying attention to how I feel. The present is here. If it overwhelms me, that’s okay. Therapy notes becoming diary entries, 2026

How long... have I let this thought consume me? 2026

Terrible loneliness gets all over me, even when surrounded, sometimes. 2026

El mensaje Es el sentir. 2026

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