Luxury has a different definition for everyone, and for the past 3 years my life has been this to me. It came with lots of love and also the lack of it. It came with a brutal lesson on self destruction, not having the feet on the ground, not being able to accept help, not learning about making the same mistakes again and again. These 3 years came with a huge urge to feel invisible. These 3 years have been the toughest to me on every level. The moment where I am right now feels different but it has no shape, it comes with joy, anger, and a list of several feelings that are raw and pure. I am in between the past and the future as literal as it sounds. I have no shape, I haven’t seen the ocean for a while, I have not hurt people in purpose. I have only worked. I haven’t had real time to sit down that is now given to me in the shape of a broken bone and many hours to reflect on my behaviour.