16.09.2016
Long ago I behaved like a spoiled brat, my ego was in the clouds, I hurt friends for not knowing how to act and being afraid of losing them. There is in particular one part of my past that I am not able to get over with. And it hits me at night sometimes because I have giving it some power to come and make me feel anxious and remind me the piece of shit I used to and can be. But I have done a lot of things since then, and I have been careful of not hurting people in purpose. Why then am I still scared of this 21 year old? Why am I giving power to people that I hurt to come and hunt me at night while I sleep? If we approach it by catholic logic (whatever that means) I already paid for my sins. If we approach it via karma, karma was a bitch to me too for an enough period of time. Why then at night am I allowing for this to come an destroy my joy?