Me in my darkest, 17.Jun.2015

I am making a mental list of all the bullshit that I have left pass by, including all the tiny little details, the big offensive steps you took, the change I am not allowing myself to take and those little corners that were filled with anger and I wasn’t able to let if flow. I am making a list of all your imperfections, and mine to, I am angry at myself for being here and for letting you stand over me so many times and giving you my arms in return. I am taking in consideration the fact that this is all new to me, but it wasn’t new to us. I take longer to process what is happening around me and sometimes I act with love when I should have looked the other way. I am wondering why, I am wondering how, I am wondering how could I have been so blind. I am angry at everything that surrounds me but I am more angry at myself for not being able to feel hate. For not being able to regret giving you what I gave, I am angry at myself for making you feel like you are good. 

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